


Maybe It's Enough

by DarkLikeMySoul



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-04 14:26:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5337431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkLikeMySoul/pseuds/DarkLikeMySoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’ll pretend that it doesn’t bother him. That he doesn’t hate the fact that no one knows. He’ll pretend that everything ok, because he’s the only boy that Levi has been with this way; and somedays that’s enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Gasps and moans echoed throughout the room. Slick sweat bodies gliding across each other, as they had done so many times before. Each knowing exactly what could cause the other to crumble. At the moment Levi sat on his bed, with most of his weight on his calves, his thighs quivering from the constant effort of thrusting upwards. Eren sat on his lap, cock slipping in and out of his tight hole. One of his legs wrapped around Levi’s body to bring him closer with theother thrown over a shoulder. Unabashed, he moaned and whimpered “More—Fuck—Yes right there.” Fingers digging into Levi’s back, causing him to let out a deep groan and thrust harder. 

 

Eren’s screams filled the room only to be quickly silenced by Levi’s lips. Sloppy kisses exchanged, with more tongues clashing, teeth clattering in attempts to coordinate. Seemingly unsatisfied by the pace, he shoves Levi down. A smirk showing on Levi’s face, knowing what would follow.

 

As soon as Levi’s back was against the bed, he positioned himself over Levi’s dick again, the head was angry red, leaking pre-cum and lube from their activities. Knees at either side of Levi's hips and without warning, Eren lowers himself all at once, screams of “Yes! Yes!” as he bounces up and down with earnest. Hands at his waist steady him and push him down farther and faster, the sound of skin hitting skin resonating.  

 

If there’s one thing he likes about riding Levi, is knowing he can make him lose all composure. “Fuck, Eren! God. Keep doing that, I’m so c-close..” Thrusting up to meet his thrusts. The rhythm is awkward, both close to their release and unable to move in sync. A hand leaves Eren’s hip to grasp his cock, pushing him over the edge has he let’s out a long drawn out “Levi.”The image of Eren above him, is enough to push Levi over the edge, covering Eren’s insides with his cum. 

 

Slowly maneuvering Eren off of him, Levi stands and begins to clean them both off. Once finished he lays off to the side. Eren laying his head on his shoulder, the only sense of closeness after what just happened. 

 

“Brat. Check your phone. That shits been ringing since we started.” A whiney groan leaves said boy as he refuses to move. 

 

“It’s probably my friends wondering where I’m at.” He feels Levi stiffen next to him at that. “I already know Levi. I’m not going to tell anyone I’m here. I never have.”

 

“I know.” 

 

He knows what will happen next. After a few moments, Levi will insist on taking a shower. He’ll dress himself, and say goodbye. No kisses. No hugs. Nothing else lover’s would normally exchange.He’ll walk away, moving down the street three houses over into his own him. He’ll pretend that it doesn’t bother him. That he doesn’t hate the fact that no one knows. He’ll pretend that everything ok, because he’s the only boy that Levi has been with this way; and somedays that’s enough. 

 

* * *

 

 

It’s a few days later that Eren finds himself seated outside his high school’s front steps. Mikasa and Armin, his best friends, are currently busy with running their own clubs. Thus, leaving Eren to his own devices. He doesn't quite want to go home, but also doesn’t feel like bothering Levi. He’s noticed a small strawberry blonde girl has been hanging around with the boy at school and rather not intrude on a potential relationship. Regardless of whatever they have, they respect boundaries. 

 

“What’cha doing out here by yourself?” A voice snapping Eren from his thoughts. He turns to his side and notices that Reiner has appeared out of nowhere. He slightly frowns when he realizes that Reiner’s normal companion, the so called ‘best friend’ is not with him. 

 

“I could ask the same, considering Bertl isn’t with you.”Eren can’t help himself from eying his friend. The blonde is tall, well built with short blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. Wondering if those blues had what it took to make his heart flutter. 

 

“Eh.” Reiner responds, with a shrug of his shoulders, skirting around the topic of Bertl.“Hey I was wondeirng…” Noticing how the big blonde is no longer making eye contact with him, much rather pushing a rock around with his foot. “Want to go get some coffee with me?”

 

“Sure”, Eren responds, with a large genuine smile. Standing up and dusting himself off before leaving with Reiner. By the end of their coffee date, Eren realizes that yeah, those dark gold eyes have what it takes to make his heart flutter. 

 

* * *

 

 

A month has passed of officially dating Reiner, and feels immensely happy. He’s not purposely avoiding Levi, it just happens that Reiner will make plans or things will come up which keeps him from seeing the boy from down the street. Today as he’s walking home, halfway down his street when he spots the familiar undercut and pale skin up ahead of him. Running up to the boy, nearly tackling him in the process. The friendly banter and teasing begins, and its moments like this that Eren will always crave. He resides himself in hanging out with Levi for the afternoon, it's not uncommon for the two to spend time together. He's missed this, the sex is great, but there's something about the easiness of companionship that he favors. 

 

Eren realizes that this is the perfect moment to let Levi know about his first boyfriend. If he expects anything other than a smart ass remark, he doesn’t let it show. He knows it’s Levi’s way of showing approval. He waits for Levi to mention the strawberry blonde, but the boy never does. He doesn’t ask, thinking that maybe some time next week they’ll be sitting on this same couch except Levi will be telling him about the girl and how he’s happy. Most of all Eren thinks things are good, and doesn’t regret any decisions, especially not after Levi comments “Oooh make sure that big ass titan doesn’t break you when the time comes.” He can't help it if that comment makes him blush and stutter in embarrassment on his way out. Quickly power walking away to avoid any more embarrassing teasing on that subject, the sound of Levi’s chuckling behind him. 

 

He doesn’t tell Levi that he hasn’t thought of that, that he doesn’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon. It’s silly of him to fear doing something intimate when he’s done it all before, but the fear keeps that part of the relationship from moving too quickly. His boyfriend going so far as to ask for permission to kiss the first time it happened. During their month of dating they’ve gotten into some intense make-out sessions, but those stop before they go too far. This weekend they got as far as a few hand jobs here and there, not really a big deal. He knows Reiner’s ok with it, although Eren suspects it is because he believes him to be a virgin. He wouldn’t blame him, he’s never given any of his friends a reason to think otherwise. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Eren is headed to the oak tree that is off to the side in the school patio, where all of his friends and lover are seated. Without hesitation he plops himself down beside Reiner, places his weight onto his hands as he lays back. Reiner instantly puts a hand on Eren’s thigh, stroking it lovingly. A part of Eren thinks maybe he should be more affectionate, but aside from his sex he’s not really one to enjoy unnecessary touching. As he’s contemplating laying his head onto Reiner’s shoulder he sees the strawberry blonde barreling in his direction. He’s learned that Petra is her name and she is a Sophomore at the school who coincidentally hangs out with all seniors. 

 

“How dare you!?” Are the first words that come screaming out of her mouth. Her eyes show unshed tears as she visibly shakes from anger. 

 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know you or what you’re talking about.” Eren won’t even pretend to indulge this slight breakdown the younger is having in front of him. 

 

“You know damn well what I’m talking about!” Her hand is pointing at Reiner, whom has become oddly still next to Eren as she spits out the next part. “ _YOU_ have a boyfriend, why did you have to go and fuck someone else.” 

 

The group of friends who up to this point had been quiet burst out in varying forms of laughter and amusement. “Hey little girl, Jaeger’s our holy boy! You’re looking for the wrong person.” As Jean responds Eren thanks whatever deity exists for his presence, because he knows that whatever he says would sound incriminating. 

 

“Your dear little holy boy hasn’t been innocent for a very very long time.” Her anger now directed at Jean and the rest of the group. They all gape at her declaration, looking towards Eren for a denial of the accusation. But how could he deny something that was true? Nothing he could say would make the situation better. As he bites his lips and avoids looking anyone in the eye, he feels Reiner pull his hand away from him. 

 

“Why are you here, Petra?” He finally asks, looking her dead in the eye. 

 

“You know damn well why. I’ve been fighting for him for months and it turns out I’ve been fighting the wrong people.” 

 

“Reiner is gay, you can fight all you want but it’s never going to happen.” He declares with confidence, thinking that it would be odd for a girl to go after the blonde when the whole school knew about his preference in partners. Standing up because he’s had enough of these interrogation, and wants to avoid the onslaught of questions regarding his virginity he makes move to leave. Only to be held back my a frail arm on his side, she’s relentless. 

 

“Some boyfriend you are, I bet he doesn’t know. I bet none of your friends know how you’ve spent your spare time. What you did before your relationship is up to you but you’re despicable for doing it while with another.” Digging her fingernails into his arm with every spoken word. 

 

Her words hurt him more than anything because he hasn’t been the best of friends with everyone. He’s lied and manipulated the truth to keep his secret, and that is the only regret he holds. But how could he explain to his group that he had fallen in love with the boy down the street? How does he tell them that one Christmas night during their sophomore year he gave the boy all he had to give? Most importantly, he can’t tell them that if he went back in time he would do it all again. 

 

At this point, he hears Mikasa, his best friend, shuffle around and finally ask what’s beenon everyone’s mind. “Eren, what is she talking about?” 

 

Even then he can’t look her in the eye, he can’t look at any of them but forces himself to when he mutters out, “I haven’t cheated on Reiner. I don’t know where you got that idea from but your wrong.” 

 

Reiner’s gruff voice breaks the silence that had followed. The hints of anger and disappointment seeping into his words.“But you don’t deny that you’ve been fucking with someone.” 

 

All he can do is look down and shake his head, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. Things had been going ok, life was looking up. He didn’t understand how this all came to be. The only thing he did understand was there had only been another person to know his secret. He cried as he realized that for years he kept his end of the deal as Levi so had asked but Levi through it all away without consideration of his feelings. 

 

“Petra let go of him.” The voice that he’s heard so many time before, sounding so many different ways now was cold, void of emotion. It was the last person that Eren needed at the moment. He blinked away tears as he looked up, noticing Petra had indeed let go of him. Looking at his group of friends he saw as each of them put the pieces together. They had known that Eren always had feelings for Levi but as the years passed he spoke of it less and less, so they assumed the silly crush had run its course.

 

Looking at his boyfriend, he no longer so affection and care. Instead he found anger and resentment, which hurt to the core when he spoke, “I fucking knew it.” Shaking his head and disapproval, wiping his hands on his pants as if to free himself from any of Eren’s touch. “In case you’re not clear, we’re not together anymore.” He stood in silence because he knew not what to say, but a larger piece of him didn’t care to say anything. “See Eren, I knew you wouldn’t beg or plead, I’m not the one you’ve always wanted.” Turning to leave the group, Bertl standing up immediately and running to catch up behind him. 

 

The next words Petra spoke had been Eren’s cue to leave. “It’s about fucking time you choose what you want in life, Levi.” 

 

He didn’t need to hear what Levi would choose because he had already chosen. He chose every single time that he made Eren keep the secret. He chose every single time the coupled and he didn’t kiss him goodbye. He chose every single time he chose to not have them be in a real relationship. His friends called for him from behind, some standing to follow as he walked away. 

 

“Him. I’ll always choose him.” His steps faltering as he left, turning his gaze to see that Levi had already been looking in his direction. The boy held his gaze as he continued speaking to Petra. “It’s always been him, even when I was too stupid to do anything about it. It was him from the moment he showed up at my house and forced his way into my life. He never said anything because I asked him not too, not because I was ashamed. I just wasn’t ready to give him what he deserved.” The boy’s gaze returning to Petra as he finished off. “Does that make it clear? It was never you. From you, I wanted a close friend and nothing else.” 

 

Eren found himself paralyzed, not believing that somehow as things had crumbled around him, a new foundation had been set. Levi walked up to him, intertwined his fingers with his and pulled him away from the group of friends. Levi continued to pull him into the school parking lot and just leave school, without a care in the world. 

 

“Levi…” The boy breathed out the words as if his name had been the single thread holding him together. He felt Levi strengthen his hold on Eren’s hands as a response. No words were shared as the pair walked up a familiar street and up to a very familiar home. 

 

When Levi finally opens the door to his home he stands at the threshold facing Eren. Reaching forward he softly places his hands on the boys cheeks to bring him in closer. “I’ve always wanted to do this. Every single time you’ve came and every single time you’ve left. I’m sorry for the hell I’ve put you through, for never telling you how much I cared.”Finishing his statement by placing his soft lips onto Eren’s chapped ones. The sweetness and sincerity of the kiss, showing every emotion the two had bottled up for so long. 

 

The afternoon passes as the two lay side by side sharing sweet chaste kisses in between declarations of love. Eren thinks back to what they had, it had never been enough, but maybe just maybe this is the start of enough. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes the boys have a lot of shit to deal with and a lot of conversations to be had with their friends respectively. Things won't be easy in their relationship and only time can tell what's going to happen to them but for now their happy, even if just for a moment. 
> 
> Comments and Constructive Criticism are always appreciated my lovelies! 
> 
> Any who, I actually wrote this awhile ago and found it in my documents and decided to post it. 
> 
> Let me take about 2 minutes of your time to do my PSA. Yes in this fic Eren and Levi don't use protection and we'll assume that Levi has been tested fro STI/STDs. 
> 
> In the real world, make sure to exert safe sex. Yes condoms are the ONLY way to prevent STD/STI. Did you know the majority of these infections are silent and patients almost never have symptoms until it's far progressed. Take for instance HIV. The moment you are infected with HIV (passed through blood, breast and sexual fluids), within three weeks your are your most infectious and yet you most likely will not have a clue that you are infected. 
> 
> Be smart, talk to your partners about having safe sex (even when having oral sex). Get yourself tested at least once a year. What better way to have a healthy fun sex life than to not have STD/STIs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy endings did happen quickly, instead, those happy endings needed to be fought for and tears shed. But one day, eventually, there would be genuine happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My warning: There are references to moments of unconsented kissing.

The next morning, Eren left his home as he always did. Changed nothing in his routine as to not cause any additional inquiries from his mother. She didn't have to know he didn't plan on going to school, sort of thing that he had actually never partaken. But it was his senior year, and with everything that happened the day before he really wanted to avoid his friends for a little bit longer. 

 

So he made his way out of his home, two houses down and into the driveway of one boy that he knew would also be missing school. It felt strange letting himself into the home with the new key on his key ring. Removing his shoes as he made his way silently up the staircase. There really was no reason for the quiet. The house was empty at this hour with the exception of one raven haired male that could sleep through anything. Letting himself in, settling beneath the blankets reveling in the warmth that another body provides. 

 

He doesn't move to cuddle, doesn't move to embrace the boy because it's not what he likes. He enjoys just laying there and knowing another person is nearby, soon he feels sleep taking him. 

 

* * *

 

The next time he opens his eyes, he notices the mop of raven hair is had been replaced with smooth pale skin. During his impromptu morning nap, it seems that Levi had finally woken up.

 

“Morning lazy ass.” He hears the voice come from above and can’t help the roll of his eyes at that. Instead of responding he pinches the visible, skin.

 

“Ow! Alright, alright.” 

 

Stretching his limbs out and rolling his neck, he finally makes a move to sit up in bed. But the thoughts that had plagued him last night return full force. To him, his friends’ approval matters, but with how everything went down he knows it won’t happen quickly. He can’t avoid them forever even if he wanted to. Then there’s the bigger issue, Levi and he have yet to talk about anything other than admit feelings. Even when it killed him inside, fucking around was so much easier. 

 

A finger pressed against forehead brings him back, causing him to realize he had furrowed his brows; shaking his head, attempting to erase all the thoughts. 

 

“Talk to me kid.” The smooth voice, comforting in ways that he did not expect. When he made no move to speak, the other carried on instead. “We both know your friends are going to blame me, and I’m ok with that. One day none of this will matter to anyone.” 

 

“I know I have to tell them some things… but I don’t want to.” He says, biting his lip in frustration because really who is to blame? 

 

Smooth lips pressed against his, feeling them move as Levi murmurs out a response. “Things will work themselves out, just give it time.” 

 

He gives a short, sad smile in return, “I sure hope so.”This time, Levi doesn’t break the silence. Somehow the boy down the street understands that he needs some time to phrase his words, to say what’s been going on inside his mind. 

 

“All this time—“ pauses to look down at the small space between them “—You, um, you asked me not to tell people. Why? Were you embarrassed?” Lip trembling as he recalls all the times that exact thought ran through his mind. 

 

“It’s just all this time you didn’t say anything, and even when I talked about other guys.” He’s pinching at the skin between his thumb and forefinger hoping the pain would distract him from how nervous he was. “I mean you even started telling me about other people, and sometimes you went on dates and I was just here. Until someone took me out for a date, and things felt ok… and now they are better, but I’m —I just want to understand.” 

 

He feels a hand cover his as it rests on the blanket, but refuses to face the gray eyes that are intensely gazing at him. 

 

“Remember what you asked me? What we talked about when this all started?” The smooth voice laced with apprehension, fear seeping into the words. 

 

It’s clear now, the reason. God, he’s an idiot because he remembered clearly both those conversations from years ago. He hadn’t realized that Levi would take everything he said to heart, but apparently, he did. Truly he has no one to blame but himself. 

 

“I did what you asked, and never anything more because you never implied that there was anything more. Hell, even when I wanted more I kept to myself. It’s been only you since this all started, it’s always been just, you kid.” 

 

After hearing that, a barrage of emotions that swept through him. Why did Levi not fight for him? But then again, why did the boy himself never say a thing? And what about the others, the girls that clung to Levi that he occasionally dated only to leave them and come back to him? 

 

“Eren.” The quiet silk filled voice called him back once more. 

 

“Hitch, Rico, and Petra? What were they? You say it was always me, but you went and dated other people. You went on and had a ‘normal’ love life, and I just sat here.” 

  
The words left his mouth faster than he could comprehend, spoken in a voice filled with anger. It had not been what he intended to say; he wanted to assure Levi that all was ok. Considering the words that he just spewed, all was not fine.

 

“Hitch shoved her nasty ass tongue down my throat at a party and was determined to get something after that. Rico and I were assigned to a god damn _group project_ so of course, I had to be around her. And Petra recently joined our friend group, and started hanging out with more after _you_ ditched me.” 

 

Levi had not intended to sound so cold and bitter when he spewed an explanation, but he had to be sure that there was no doubt in the boy's mind. It could be that the years, of what he thought to be unrequited love, finally caught up to him. He could not stop even if he tried. 

 

“ _You_ were the one that would suddenly up and avoid me for fucking weeks at a time. I had _your_ friends glaring at me, muttering insults under their breath whenever I did fuck knows what. _You_ made assumptions rather than talking to me. You can only blame so much on me.” 

 

That’s not how this morning was supposed to start. They weren’t supposed to wake up and start an angry shouting match. It should have been cliche, to wake up in each other's arms and share sweet kisses. To go through their day, their _first_ day as a couple; instead they were here. 

 

Eren felt his eyes sting, the familiar lump forming in his throat as he tried hard to hold back the tears threatening to spill. Fighting to keep his mouth shut, quivering from strain because he refused to break down in front of the other. 

 

“Fuck.” He heard Levi mutter out silently. 

 

“Come on, kid.” Eren's body was tensing as he felt the raven haired boy pull him into his warm embrace. 

 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I guess there’s shit we need to talk about.” A soothing hand rubbed across his back in comforting circles, rocking back in forth in tune with Levi. “I promise you, Eren. It was and has always been you.”

 

Eren stayed quiet, listening to Levi’s rapid heartbeat slowly lower during the time he spent cradled on his chest. Proof that he wasn’t the only one affected by this entire situation. 

 

It took time,most of the day where they just talked. It was reminiscent to a distinct night years ago when Eren just spoke about everything that bothered him and scared him. This time around, both Levi and Eren spoke. 

 

Every insecurity, every doubt about their relationship, laid out on the table for both to know. Things would be imperfect, it would be a fight, but the two were more than ready to tackle those together. After years, of what they believed to be unrequited love, they had this; they had each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is purely self-indulgent and probably a little bit of me projecting, but c'est la vie. 
> 
> I hope you all like it! Although, I'll be honest and say that it is pretty angsty for the next few chapters with some occasional fluff so if that's not your cup of tea here is my warning.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the boys have a lot of shit to deal with and a lot of conversations to be had with their friends respectively. Things won't be easy in their relationship and only time can tell what's going to happen to them but for now their happy, even if just for a moment. 
> 
> Comments and Constructive Criticism are always appreciated my lovelies! 
> 
> Any who, I actually wrote this awhile ago and found it in my documents and decided to post it. 
> 
> Let me take about 2 minutes of your time to do my PSA. Yes in this fic Eren and Levi don't use protection and we'll assume that Levi has been tested fro STI/STDs. 
> 
> In the real world, make sure to exert safe sex. Yes condoms are the ONLY way to prevent STD/STI. Did you know the majority of these infections are silent and patients almost never have symptoms until it's far progressed. Take for instance HIV. The moment you are infected with HIV (passed through blood, breast and sexual fluids), within three weeks your are your most infectious and yet you most likely will not have a clue that you are infected. 
> 
> Be smart, talk to your partners about having safe sex (even when having oral sex). Get yourself tested at least once a year. What better way to have a healthy fun sex life than to not have STD/STIs.


End file.
